Whose sacrifice is greater?

Whose sacrifice is greater?

Today we all witnessed Siksha sweekaranam of Kanchi peetam. The bhrammachari of 21 years till yesterday, who has taken up Sanyasa today and will evolve into the Jagadguru tomorrow.

The parents and the sister saw it all, along with us but without a tear drop! Whose sacrifice is greater? His or theirs?

He has given up all for all of us, where they have given him up!

What a mindset! So much to learn for us all from them,may be thats why they are the chosen ones!

At 21, the poise and the calm is commendable, his Mother's mindset cannot be explained in words!

As he said I'm forgoing all the worldly pleasures and surrendering myself, it would have made all of us think! The next step in our culture is amazing!

As he surrendered to God, the next step was to rise his hands up and surrender to his Guru saying your feet are my resort! The Guru accepts him as is and says I will give you everything!

As a starting point, he gives him Dhandam, kamandalu, a seat to do the Japa, the integral part of a sanyasi. The next is upadesa and then the spatika mala with Rudraksha.

All this happens as Mother Kamakshi and Adishankara watches over.

Food is good!

Why everyone on social media is glorifying the juices intake? One person is taking, probably it suits them. Looking at those videos, more young people are trying to incorporate juices in their everyday life style.

Actually, fruits and vegetables have fibre. If we make juice out of it, we are filtering out that fibre and taking in only the liquids! It does no good to our gut. Ask any dietician, they will assert this.

One side, young couples under the pretext of leading healthy life style, take lots of juices, go to gym, glorify all these and on the other side, we see people having midnight cravings and eating whatever! Actually, water is the best liquid and that can't be substituted!

There needs to be a balance! We can eat a carrot raw and still feel good. On the other hand, one carrot is not enough to make juice, with its fiber lost, what we drink is just water.

Juices are advised for people without teeth and who has gut issues in digesting the fibre content! We, on the other hand can very well take the fruit or vegetable as is! 

That is why we use lemon juices(we can't eat raw lemon) on salads or rasam to absorb its nutrients!

Its good to be cautious, but life has to be enjoyed to certain extent and that comes with food in its regular format.

Whats the point of being slim and lean and don't have bone strength?! Weight loss is not for all and in most cases not required at all! We need life style changes like walking and exercising and not eating junk or chaat items frequently instead of being on diet and binging later on!

The other point is maintenance. We need an expensive juicer and since we bought it, we should use it! In our busy schedule, we may not have the time and patience for its usage whereas people on social media have all the time to maintain it!

Now, everything is a choice! Getting married to becoming a parent, even we will glorify not taking bath everyday!

The focus must be to stay happy and contented as our clocks are ticking!

Vishnupriya

A Deeper bond

A Deeper bond.

Why is Hari not dropping me today, asked Malu. Because he's sleepy said her Dad. No, he will never feel sleepy at this time! Hari, come! She called.Listen Malu! He's sleeping and I'm here, no! Why are you making a fuss asked Raghav.

Raghav and Hari are brothers and are living in a joint family, still. Hari isn't married yet and so Malu is close to him since her childhood days. He used to take care of her as a support to his parents as both his brother and sil are working and thats why instead of calling him uncle or chithappa, she has the liberty to call him by name and he loves it. Many times the others tried to change it but due to his support, Malu never changed!

Raghav's wife Latha is also understanding and she knows they have a special bond. Actually, Hari is a good friend to her too!

This kind of pampering is little more these days and she's becoming clingy towards Hari is what all at home are observing. Its okay was all he would reply.

Hearing all this, Thatha said its ok kanna, go with Appa and in the evening I will ask Hari to pick you up.

As Malu was creating an issue, Hari himself came down and her face lit up! Come, Hari lets go she shouted only to get a stare from her Dad.

Unable to disobey his brother, Hari said go with Appa as I came back from work late at night and I can't drive Malu. Finally, she left with a grumpy face.

In the afternoon also, Raghav and Latha went to pick her up as they had meeting with the teachers. All the teachers gave an excellent feedback which made the parents very happy.

The teacher said, rarely shes not in good mood and doesn't answer. Rest of the days shes great! As a child of 7 years, it's understandable!

They all came out and Appa wanted to treat Malu. She denied saying lets go home! The moment they entered, she stared at her Thatha as if asking what happened to your promise?! Next she went straight to Hari's room and saw he wasn't there! Then she saw him talking over mobile waving at her. She went and hugged him oblivion to the camera that was on. Who cares! He cut the call and hugged back. Why didn't you come?! Was her question and he just smiled and changed the topic.

With so much of expression, she narrated what happened in school and how all the teachers appreciated her. Hari said very good and you deserve a treat!

But I just said no to Appa.But why? You could have had that cake and come! No. I wanted to see you first! Omg! Okay I will bring something home and lets all of us eat it said Hari. She immediately said I will also come along or you don't go!

From the hall, Amma was shouting she didn't eat anything yet! Come, Malu. Malu pulled Hari along and was fed hot rice and sambar. After that was their cycling session taught by both Appa and Hari.

After some days, at dinner, Raghav was casually asking her what will you do if chithappa gets work somewhere else Malu?

He won't go! she gave back and looked at Hari. He just winked at his brother and nodded at her.

See! I told you no! He won't go!

But she didn't know Hari has an upcoming travel for a week!

Raghav said come Malu, you, me and chithappa will go to the terrace. She was sitting next to Hari but he made her sit opposite to both of them. Raghav gave a sign and Hari understood.

See Malu, I have a training and will be out of Chennai for a week. That's why Appa wanted to drop and pick you up. Its just for a week and I will be back. Before he could complete, tears welled up in her eyes and she sat on his lap saying can't you stop going? Why should you leave me and go? Raghav looked at her and Hari as if see I know where it has come! That's why I am telling you.

Looking at her Dad she said, I love you all Appa but I love Hari a little more. I don't want him to go!

Raghav was amazed at her choice of words but he has decided to inject the reality and said Malu, we all know that kanna. But understand, he can't be with us all the time! He has a job and after sometime he will get married and may move to some other city! He can't leave all that because of you!

Why don't you bring someone who can be with us here pat came the reply! Both the brothers looked at each other and thought that's exactly why it hasn't worked out yet!

If this talk hadn't happened, she would have slept next to her mom happily but tonight she didn't want to leave Hari alone. She thought he might leave before she wakes up. She made a tantrum to sleep with him and Hari gave a cue to Raghav. After she slept, he didn't want to disturb his brother and so left her with his mom.

The first thing in the morning, she ran to see if Hari was there still and was happy to see him getting ready. She asked how did I sleep next to Pati? Hari said may be you walked in your sleep! She smiled and went away.

Soon, the days passed and its time to go for training. After talking to Malu, Hari left for Hyderabad. First two days were okay but on the third day, Malu fell sick. She was down with fever and Hari has two more days left. During that day's video call, he felt bad to see the child so dull! She gave him a smile though.

He took permission for a day and came back early. Seeing him entering the hall, Malu came jumping from the bedroom! He gave her a warm hug and she felt a little better! Why are you so warm? Asked Hari. You didn't have the medicine? No, replied Pati on her behalf saying she vomited after the medicine and was just lying down. Seeing you, she is jumping! Where is Manni? He asked. She promised to be early as she can't miss work today due to some release or something said Thatha and your brother was working from home and stepped out just now. Anyways, now she will be fine said Pati.

Okay, no problem Amma. I will be with her. Let me refresh and come. He went into the kitchen, made three cups of coffee and came back. He knew someone was trailing him and sat down with a smile. He explained to his parents about the training and listening to his voice, Malu fell asleep. Pati was expressing why she's so attached to you! Its going to complicate things between you and your brother! We will see Amma said Hari. Don't worry.

His brother and Manni were surprised to see him back early and understood he has come only because of Malu. They tried to apopogise but he didn't give them a chance. Soon Malu woke up sweating and everyone was relieved. She felt hungry too and had some food.

They used to sit as a family and have dinner together. When she was ten, once pati asked her to have some vegetable which she always disliked and Pati said I will tell Hari not to talk to you if you don't eat! She looked at Hari staring at his mom and said Hari will always talk to me, Pati. But since you said, I will have a spoon. That's all! Pati was blown away with her confidence! Later on, Hari told his mom not to talk that way to the child!

As she grew up, the bond only got stronger than before. Hari didn't marry anyone as it just didn't work and he wasn't bothered anymore. His Mom could not understand why its not happening! He was a second father to Malu and that kept him happy. His support made Raghav to grow in his career, took bold decisions like onsite assignments, booked a 3 bhk and moved there. Malu also has a brother Madhav now who is also being taken care by Hari. Hari and Madhav are best buddies too!

Malu still has a string of attachment more and can't digest Madhav being closer to Hari than her! She used to discuss everything with him as usual and decide based on his views. He used to pickup and drop the kids whenever van didn't come or whenever he could. He limited his ambitions at work.

Hari was that pillar of support for everyone in the family! He was everyone's confidant! Even Manni used to come to him for help and he would do it. Everyone needs such a support, a listener who is patient and just understands. If its a parent or anyone from the family, what more is expected! Anyone can soar high and be the best!

Once in class 12, 'I'm going to make a fuss like how you did when you goto college Malu'! Said Hari.

Hariiii enough! You've narrated my fever stories to Madhav more than the Ramayana!

Yes that's because you fell sick every time I went out of station! Pulled Hari.

Malu smiled and said, why do you think I am studying so hard? I will join only here. I am not leaving you! Its my turn now, Hari chithappa.

Whats this Chithappa?! Asked Hari..

yeah right..I tried but it's so hard calling you that way! You are helping us in every way and now its our turn now was what I wanted to tell you!

Stupid! Its not help! gave back Madhav!

Yeah I know, you do out of your love and seeing you, how can we be otherwise, Hari! I will be there for you always! A tear came out of Hari's eyes and she gave him a bear hug! I will also be there for you, said Madhav and joined the hug!

Raghav was listening to this and was actually crying! He asked Malu, how about after your wedding?! And what about us?

You have Madhav, Appa! He will be with you all and I will do my part too but I will take Hari with me Appa, wherever I go!

Whaat.. you can't Malu! As if I will let you! shouted Madhav and Hari had to stop their fight!

Everyone thought it was just kids talk but nobody knew she had already decided what she will do!

It was not just words but Malu ended up taking Hari with her when she went to work in Pune and settled there. She also married someone who accepted to this as this was her only request!

Now Hari is living with her family and is a Grand Dad to Malu version 2 who's more adamant than her mom! Its fun to watch Malu and her daughter fight for Hari!

Some relationships can't be explained and they stay special till the very end. Whoever is gifted, will treasure that and the others can only envy or pray for one!

Second Fiddle

 Second fiddle

When I'm the only one present

I'm respected!

People love me along with my partner vada

I even have a festival on my name!

But on the day of the festival,

My counter part is given more importance!

However tasty I'm

I am just a second fiddle!

He will be relished and served

Again and again

Whereas I'm kept at a side!

The next day I'm only thrown with

No takers wheras he's at least

Given to birds!

Even though we both share the same festival's name

This kind of partiality is unacceptable!

Sadly,

Your venpongal

House Hunt

 

It’s been five years since Radha and Krishna moved in to this apartment and now, the house owner is asking them to vacate! Radha was tensed as this place was so much comfortable for everyone in the family. The market, hospital, groceries etc everything is so close by and she could pick up and drop kids in classes within no time. Now, everything is going to change, she was so worried that she has to find another apartment in the same area within their budget!

Krishna was as cool as ever and was comforting her saying, we will find one. This is not our own house and we knew this day will come. Why do you stress yourself so much! All will be well, don’t worry. I am looking at rental websites too. Still Radha wasn’t convinced! She also started to look at the websites and all local ads.

They started the house hunt on the next morning. They went and saw a couple of apartments but Radha wasn’t convinced. She wanted neither the top most floor nor the ground floor. She had a specific requirement in her mind and no apartment was matching that! She expected a 1000 sq ft, 2 bedrooms and the kitchen to be little bigger with a stainless-steel sink, a puja room, a ventilated hall. Though all this looks normal, to match every aspect in the same area is a challenge! After seeing 2 apartments, they returned.

Krishna was ready to pay even the brokerage to match their need. Initially he thought he would search for a month and if not happening, they can contact a broker. But this house hunt made him realise that it’s going to be a challenge!

After a quick and simple lunch, before the kids were back from school, he called Radha. She came with a cup of coffee for him and he asked her what exactly are you looking for? As Radha described, he made a note of every point in a paper. Finally, he proved to her that all her requirements are nothing but what are they already having in their existing apartment. As the truth was revealed, Radha was astounded! She didn’t know she was knowingly doing this!

She realised then, its not easy to find another apartment exactly like the one they are in! Once this is set, next steps were easy. They found a couple of ads and called up the owner and fixed an appointment, the next day.

The next day, Radha finished cooking very early and they both went and saw the apartment. Radha was quiet through out the way and once inside the apartment, she just accepted what is what! The owner was very cordial and accepted that they could move in only after a month! The rent was also not so high and advance amount was also as expected. Radha just told Krishna to confirm.

Once back home, Krishna was surprised that she accepted! He asked her, how come you accepted without telling them that we would discuss after we get back home? Radha said, my mind was clear after you proved to me what I wanted was just a repeat of what I am already having. So I told myself to accept whatever apartment we see first and trust God that all will be well as you always say Krishna.

That’s what I did!

Now this apartment is well ventilated, has a puja shelf, a compact kitchen and two bedrooms and a hall, I am happy! I can still drop and pickup kids easily by walk! I didn’t compromise on my no ground or top floor though, as I have set my priority right!

So many times in life, we do this unknowingly! We need a dress but we will look for what we had already, color or pattern and end up saying, I don’t like it! We look for our city in a new city and crib! We are all so afraid of the change that we find it hard to fit in! This house hunt has taught me this, not that I don’t know this, yet, my mind was clouded and needed an inside cleaning!

What do you look forward to?

 

What keeps you motivated and what do you look forward to do tomorrow?

I love to have my cup of tea, though not as a first thing in the morning! I get up, cook and send kids off to school. Then after breakfast comes my tea time! Just 75-100 ml elachi chai with little milk and less sugar energises me for the day!

After the tea time with myself, I plan for next steps, may be washing, folding laundry, cleaning or any of the boring chores and what to make for lunch!

Boring chores will be accompanied by my favorite music, sometimes discourses, sometimes, any tv comedy show I feel like watching/listening. At the outset, it is all boring to do these tasks at hand but these little things add some flavour to it!

What do you do all day? flares me up! So my answers now are, "oh I was happy listening to my favorite songs and I happily slept off"!

What do you look forward to?

One way traffic

Based on a real life incident

I want to get married, thought Riya. She is 28 years old, working in an IT company in Chennai. She has an elder sister who's married, has a kid and is staying with her parents, citing baby as a reason.

Her parents are also very supportive to her but aren't worried about Riya. They need her salary but haven't started to look for an alliance for her. When their relatives come home to invite for their son's or daughter's wedding, they would generally inquire about Riya and her parents would give some lame excuses that not a right match is found yet! Riya was feeling insecure attending all her cousin's wedding one after another.

She couldn't openly talk to her sister also as she was always selfish about her life alone and never bothered about Riya.

All her college friends are now mothers and make fun of her in their group. Some even discouraged her saying her position is better now rather than being burdened with work, family, child etc..

When she discussed with her close friend in office, she suggested to find her partner on her own instead of depending on parents. With her friend's help, she finally created a profile on matrimony site and was waiting.

A mail had finally come after a week! The guy was in the US, his parents in Bangalore, his sister was also studying in the US. He wanted to discuss many things with Riya before taking this forward. Her friend suggested her to goto a coffee shop and take the call. So they decided on a date and time. She was nervous but also determined to open the topic with her parents if the call goes well.

The call went well with a hi and their thoughts were in sync. First call can't be very detailed, so they decided to connect a next time. Soon that became a weekly call and then everyday call, they both became close. After 2 months, the guy Rishi said he will take it forward and talk to his parents. Now she was in a fix. She had to open up! He sensed her discomfort and encouraged her to talk to her parents.

So, after dinner, Riya was making her niece sleep and succeeded. She decided to talk to her brother in law first and then talk to her parents with his help. One risk was he might disclose first to his wife! So fingers crossed, she called her brother in law the next morning and asked him to come to a restaurant for lunch along with her Dad. She then called her Dad and informed him the same.

When they both arrived at the restaurant, she slowly opened up during lunch. Her brother in law was very understanding and supported her.  She called Rishi on video call and the guys got introduced to each other. Her brother in law seemed to like Rishi(he was patiently waiting for the call past 1 am his time!) and her Dad didn't have an option but to nod his head.

Finally, it was decided to Inform her mom and sister that night. When brother in law opened it, her sister was actually angry but couldn't show it in front of her husband! He was adjusting to his wife's ways only because of the baby.

She texted Rishi and updated him the happenings. To make things easy, he had already informed his parents to come and have formal talks the next day. The next morning, they all had arrived and they didn't demand anything. They liked her as they got introduced to her a while back and spoke to conduct the wedding in a simple manner within 4 months. Riya's parents were shocked as everything is happening so quickly!

Soon, she resigned from her office and it was decided, Rishi would come for all the wedding purchase. Riya was very happy but at home, it could not be shown. Her mom was worried about her salary and how she would manage without it. She replied patiently about visa process and she can't work in the US.

Her friend was very happy about all the proceedings but was also sad that she's going away. Soon Rishi landed and was looking better in person than on mobile. Riya's family also met him and liked him. More than anything, they didn't have any reason to reject him!

Riya's mom insisted to verify his conduct secretly to her elder daughter but she didn't care out of jealousy. Now, she understood her elder daughter's selfishness, so she spoke to her spouse and asked him to request their son in law to carry out this plan. He assured that he would do it.

After all the formalities, the wedding took place and it was Riya's date of travel to Bangalore. Rishi was to stay for 3 weeks, finish the visa process and she to join him as soon as visa is done. It was very sad for her family to see her leave and so parents went to accompany her. Her sister wasn't very happy about being left alone with the kid but her brother in law insisted they go along and he would ask his parents help. This added fuel to the fire for Riya's sister.

So, finally Riya and all reached Bangalore and her parents returned the next day. She adjusted well to the new environment and was comfortable. She was liked by all due to her attitude and she became friendly with Rishi's cousins and aunts.

Rishi left for the US and told her to go home to spend sometime before boarding but Riya didn't want to. She had already packed her stuff back home and couriered to Rishi's US address.

So just a week before travel, she went to Chennai and met her family and friends and bid good bye. When she hugged her mom, her mom cried more and said they have been blinded by their affection for their grand daughter that they had missed to check upon her! Riya's eyes also welled up and she consoled her mother. She gifted her mom a mobile and asked her to call her whenever she felt like! Her mom was speechless as nobody else understood her better!

All went well and Rishi had flown down to accompany her as a surprise and she slowly got settled in the US. Her mom used to call her every day and ask about the weather, food etc..Life was good and Riya was peaceful.

Sometimes, the bend on the road is not the end! We will see the curve only when we go near it, thought Riya!

--Vishnupriya