When son became the daughter in law!

 

When son became the daughter in law!

When Ram had a ritual at home on the occasion of Navaratri, his sisters and brothers and mother came over. Ram lives with Shreya and their daughter Ria. Ram had to discuss with Shreya that this year was their turn to host!

Initially Shreya was doubtful if she could really manage as they had missed the previous years get togethers due to office work and were in a different city. Ram assured that he will help her.

He has two sisters and two brothers. so totally it was 15 people!

Food was made at home. Ram chopped the vegetables and helped clean the house. Since the number of people are more, Shreya usually gets scared to cook! She quickly managed to make dal, curry, sambar, rasam, payasam and vada. Sweets were got from outside.

The kids watched tv or mobile and nobody actually socialised. The elders were talking about other relatives, weddings and other functions that happened or coming up.

His mom and sisters kept giving Ram, instructions and was pointing this was not done this way, the lamp needs to be lighted with multiple wicks, etc.. At one point, Shreya sympathised with him and came near him and told this is the moment the son has become the daughter in law!

You just move and I will take care. Ram was relieved. He couldn’t talk back but Shreya would cut things straight. Even Ria came and told her mom that her aunt and grand mom were commenting about her eating. Shreya calmed her and said, its okay, just eat.

After the puja and the lunch, everybody was tired. All had coffee or tea and one by one left with return gifts. After all left, the house became home again. As food was left, some was taken by whoever wanted for dinner and Shreya was more than happy to give. She then made rice and rasam and closed the day early.

Though these kind of get togethers are needed to stay connected, its not necessary to do these out of compulsion or formality. If we are not comfortable, its fine to stay out of it. Even kids are so sensitive these days that they cannot accept criticism. We get holidays like these rarely and it is important that everyone gets their space.  

Its more important that the husband and the wife stay connected first! Because these get togethers also become a reason for divorces! Peace is the utmost goal. 

 

The 4’o clock hunger

 

How do you feel at 4 pm everyday?

Every time hunger is challenging, no doubt! but especially at this time, 4 pm I lose myself! This hunger is not satiated with tea or coffee but having samosa or something fried or from a packet is so tempting!

Doctors suggest sundal, sprouts and fruits but sprouts and salads I am really sorry, I can’t accept you at this time! Fruits are fine but I keep them for later hunger around 6pm. Another important fact is to eat that sundal or sprouts, I should be the one soaking it or making it and thanks to my memory, I forget it! Its either over sprouted, stinks and forgotten or missed to be soaked!

To help myself and others, before the hungry me becomes the angry me, I pop in some dry fruits, like raisins because they are friendly and need not be soaked like the almonds! Cashews may be risky but black raisins are good for women health too! I don’t believe in any bars, however healthy they are! I prefer making some til or groundnut laddus at home and pop them in.

Why people tempt us with those bajji, murukku, samosa along with tea! Even tea kadai biscuits are so yum but we can’t take them because of the oil and maida content.

Once this time is crossed, I am happy again like a baby waiting for his mom to come back home. I look forward to dinner time which must be usually around 7, thanks to Dr. Pal else the kitchen is up till 9! 

Indians must also practise supper at 6 or 7 like the good old days and restore our health.

Its time to remember to soak some channa for tomorrow's 4 pm, so see you later!

 

 

Whose sacrifice is greater?

Whose sacrifice is greater?

Today we all witnessed Siksha sweekaranam of Kanchi peetam. The bhrammachari of 21 years till yesterday, who has taken up Sanyasa today and will evolve into the Jagadguru tomorrow.

The parents and the sister saw it all, along with us but without a tear drop! Whose sacrifice is greater? His or theirs?

He has given up all for all of us, where they have given him up!

What a mindset! So much to learn for us all from them,may be thats why they are the chosen ones!

At 21, the poise and the calm is commendable, his Mother's mindset cannot be explained in words!

As he said I'm forgoing all the worldly pleasures and surrendering myself, it would have made all of us think! The next step in our culture is amazing!

As he surrendered to God, the next step was to rise his hands up and surrender to his Guru saying your feet are my resort! The Guru accepts him as is and says I will give you everything!

As a starting point, he gives him Dhandam, kamandalu, a seat to do the Japa, the integral part of a sanyasi. The next is upadesa and then the spatika mala with Rudraksha.

All this happens as Mother Kamakshi and Adishankara watches over.

Food is good!

Why everyone on social media is glorifying the juices intake? One person is taking, probably it suits them. Looking at those videos, more young people are trying to incorporate juices in their everyday life style.

Actually, fruits and vegetables have fibre. If we make juice out of it, we are filtering out that fibre and taking in only the liquids! It does no good to our gut. Ask any dietician, they will assert this.

One side, young couples under the pretext of leading healthy life style, take lots of juices, go to gym, glorify all these and on the other side, we see people having midnight cravings and eating whatever! Actually, water is the best liquid and that can't be substituted!

There needs to be a balance! We can eat a carrot raw and still feel good. On the other hand, one carrot is not enough to make juice, with its fiber lost, what we drink is just water.

Juices are advised for people without teeth and who has gut issues in digesting the fibre content! We, on the other hand can very well take the fruit or vegetable as is! 

That is why we use lemon juices(we can't eat raw lemon) on salads or rasam to absorb its nutrients!

Its good to be cautious, but life has to be enjoyed to certain extent and that comes with food in its regular format.

Whats the point of being slim and lean and don't have bone strength?! Weight loss is not for all and in most cases not required at all! We need life style changes like walking and exercising and not eating junk or chaat items frequently instead of being on diet and binging later on!

The other point is maintenance. We need an expensive juicer and since we bought it, we should use it! In our busy schedule, we may not have the time and patience for its usage whereas people on social media have all the time to maintain it!

Now, everything is a choice! Getting married to becoming a parent, even we will glorify not taking bath everyday!

The focus must be to stay happy and contented as our clocks are ticking!

Vishnupriya

A Deeper bond

A Deeper bond.

Why is Hari not dropping me today, asked Malu. Because he's sleepy said her Dad. No, he will never feel sleepy at this time! Hari, come! She called.Listen Malu! He's sleeping and I'm here, no! Why are you making a fuss asked Raghav.

Raghav and Hari are brothers and are living in a joint family, still. Hari isn't married yet and so Malu is close to him since her childhood days. He used to take care of her as a support to his parents as both his brother and sil are working and thats why instead of calling him uncle or chithappa, she has the liberty to call him by name and he loves it. Many times the others tried to change it but due to his support, Malu never changed!

Raghav's wife Latha is also understanding and she knows they have a special bond. Actually, Hari is a good friend to her too!

This kind of pampering is little more these days and she's becoming clingy towards Hari is what all at home are observing. Its okay was all he would reply.

Hearing all this, Thatha said its ok kanna, go with Appa and in the evening I will ask Hari to pick you up.

As Malu was creating an issue, Hari himself came down and her face lit up! Come, Hari lets go she shouted only to get a stare from her Dad.

Unable to disobey his brother, Hari said go with Appa as I came back from work late at night and I can't drive Malu. Finally, she left with a grumpy face.

In the afternoon also, Raghav and Latha went to pick her up as they had meeting with the teachers. All the teachers gave an excellent feedback which made the parents very happy.

The teacher said, rarely shes not in good mood and doesn't answer. Rest of the days shes great! As a child of 7 years, it's understandable!

They all came out and Appa wanted to treat Malu. She denied saying lets go home! The moment they entered, she stared at her Thatha as if asking what happened to your promise?! Next she went straight to Hari's room and saw he wasn't there! Then she saw him talking over mobile waving at her. She went and hugged him oblivion to the camera that was on. Who cares! He cut the call and hugged back. Why didn't you come?! Was her question and he just smiled and changed the topic.

With so much of expression, she narrated what happened in school and how all the teachers appreciated her. Hari said very good and you deserve a treat!

But I just said no to Appa.But why? You could have had that cake and come! No. I wanted to see you first! Omg! Okay I will bring something home and lets all of us eat it said Hari. She immediately said I will also come along or you don't go!

From the hall, Amma was shouting she didn't eat anything yet! Come, Malu. Malu pulled Hari along and was fed hot rice and sambar. After that was their cycling session taught by both Appa and Hari.

After some days, at dinner, Raghav was casually asking her what will you do if chithappa gets work somewhere else Malu?

He won't go! she gave back and looked at Hari. He just winked at his brother and nodded at her.

See! I told you no! He won't go!

But she didn't know Hari has an upcoming travel for a week!

Raghav said come Malu, you, me and chithappa will go to the terrace. She was sitting next to Hari but he made her sit opposite to both of them. Raghav gave a sign and Hari understood.

See Malu, I have a training and will be out of Chennai for a week. That's why Appa wanted to drop and pick you up. Its just for a week and I will be back. Before he could complete, tears welled up in her eyes and she sat on his lap saying can't you stop going? Why should you leave me and go? Raghav looked at her and Hari as if see I know where it has come! That's why I am telling you.

Looking at her Dad she said, I love you all Appa but I love Hari a little more. I don't want him to go!

Raghav was amazed at her choice of words but he has decided to inject the reality and said Malu, we all know that kanna. But understand, he can't be with us all the time! He has a job and after sometime he will get married and may move to some other city! He can't leave all that because of you!

Why don't you bring someone who can be with us here pat came the reply! Both the brothers looked at each other and thought that's exactly why it hasn't worked out yet!

If this talk hadn't happened, she would have slept next to her mom happily but tonight she didn't want to leave Hari alone. She thought he might leave before she wakes up. She made a tantrum to sleep with him and Hari gave a cue to Raghav. After she slept, he didn't want to disturb his brother and so left her with his mom.

The first thing in the morning, she ran to see if Hari was there still and was happy to see him getting ready. She asked how did I sleep next to Pati? Hari said may be you walked in your sleep! She smiled and went away.

Soon, the days passed and its time to go for training. After talking to Malu, Hari left for Hyderabad. First two days were okay but on the third day, Malu fell sick. She was down with fever and Hari has two more days left. During that day's video call, he felt bad to see the child so dull! She gave him a smile though.

He took permission for a day and came back early. Seeing him entering the hall, Malu came jumping from the bedroom! He gave her a warm hug and she felt a little better! Why are you so warm? Asked Hari. You didn't have the medicine? No, replied Pati on her behalf saying she vomited after the medicine and was just lying down. Seeing you, she is jumping! Where is Manni? He asked. She promised to be early as she can't miss work today due to some release or something said Thatha and your brother was working from home and stepped out just now. Anyways, now she will be fine said Pati.

Okay, no problem Amma. I will be with her. Let me refresh and come. He went into the kitchen, made three cups of coffee and came back. He knew someone was trailing him and sat down with a smile. He explained to his parents about the training and listening to his voice, Malu fell asleep. Pati was expressing why she's so attached to you! Its going to complicate things between you and your brother! We will see Amma said Hari. Don't worry.

His brother and Manni were surprised to see him back early and understood he has come only because of Malu. They tried to apopogise but he didn't give them a chance. Soon Malu woke up sweating and everyone was relieved. She felt hungry too and had some food.

They used to sit as a family and have dinner together. When she was ten, once pati asked her to have some vegetable which she always disliked and Pati said I will tell Hari not to talk to you if you don't eat! She looked at Hari staring at his mom and said Hari will always talk to me, Pati. But since you said, I will have a spoon. That's all! Pati was blown away with her confidence! Later on, Hari told his mom not to talk that way to the child!

As she grew up, the bond only got stronger than before. Hari didn't marry anyone as it just didn't work and he wasn't bothered anymore. His Mom could not understand why its not happening! He was a second father to Malu and that kept him happy. His support made Raghav to grow in his career, took bold decisions like onsite assignments, booked a 3 bhk and moved there. Malu also has a brother Madhav now who is also being taken care by Hari. Hari and Madhav are best buddies too!

Malu still has a string of attachment more and can't digest Madhav being closer to Hari than her! She used to discuss everything with him as usual and decide based on his views. He used to pickup and drop the kids whenever van didn't come or whenever he could. He limited his ambitions at work.

Hari was that pillar of support for everyone in the family! He was everyone's confidant! Even Manni used to come to him for help and he would do it. Everyone needs such a support, a listener who is patient and just understands. If its a parent or anyone from the family, what more is expected! Anyone can soar high and be the best!

Once in class 12, 'I'm going to make a fuss like how you did when you goto college Malu'! Said Hari.

Hariiii enough! You've narrated my fever stories to Madhav more than the Ramayana!

Yes that's because you fell sick every time I went out of station! Pulled Hari.

Malu smiled and said, why do you think I am studying so hard? I will join only here. I am not leaving you! Its my turn now, Hari chithappa.

Whats this Chithappa?! Asked Hari..

yeah right..I tried but it's so hard calling you that way! You are helping us in every way and now its our turn now was what I wanted to tell you!

Stupid! Its not help! gave back Madhav!

Yeah I know, you do out of your love and seeing you, how can we be otherwise, Hari! I will be there for you always! A tear came out of Hari's eyes and she gave him a bear hug! I will also be there for you, said Madhav and joined the hug!

Raghav was listening to this and was actually crying! He asked Malu, how about after your wedding?! And what about us?

You have Madhav, Appa! He will be with you all and I will do my part too but I will take Hari with me Appa, wherever I go!

Whaat.. you can't Malu! As if I will let you! shouted Madhav and Hari had to stop their fight!

Everyone thought it was just kids talk but nobody knew she had already decided what she will do!

It was not just words but Malu ended up taking Hari with her when she went to work in Pune and settled there. She also married someone who accepted to this as this was her only request!

Now Hari is living with her family and is a Grand Dad to Malu version 2 who's more adamant than her mom! Its fun to watch Malu and her daughter fight for Hari!

Some relationships can't be explained and they stay special till the very end. Whoever is gifted, will treasure that and the others can only envy or pray for one!

Second Fiddle

 Second fiddle

When I'm the only one present

I'm respected!

People love me along with my partner vada

I even have a festival on my name!

But on the day of the festival,

My counter part is given more importance!

However tasty I'm

I am just a second fiddle!

He will be relished and served

Again and again

Whereas I'm kept at a side!

The next day I'm only thrown with

No takers wheras he's at least

Given to birds!

Even though we both share the same festival's name

This kind of partiality is unacceptable!

Sadly,

Your venpongal

House Hunt

 

It’s been five years since Radha and Krishna moved in to this apartment and now, the house owner is asking them to vacate! Radha was tensed as this place was so much comfortable for everyone in the family. The market, hospital, groceries etc everything is so close by and she could pick up and drop kids in classes within no time. Now, everything is going to change, she was so worried that she has to find another apartment in the same area within their budget!

Krishna was as cool as ever and was comforting her saying, we will find one. This is not our own house and we knew this day will come. Why do you stress yourself so much! All will be well, don’t worry. I am looking at rental websites too. Still Radha wasn’t convinced! She also started to look at the websites and all local ads.

They started the house hunt on the next morning. They went and saw a couple of apartments but Radha wasn’t convinced. She wanted neither the top most floor nor the ground floor. She had a specific requirement in her mind and no apartment was matching that! She expected a 1000 sq ft, 2 bedrooms and the kitchen to be little bigger with a stainless-steel sink, a puja room, a ventilated hall. Though all this looks normal, to match every aspect in the same area is a challenge! After seeing 2 apartments, they returned.

Krishna was ready to pay even the brokerage to match their need. Initially he thought he would search for a month and if not happening, they can contact a broker. But this house hunt made him realise that it’s going to be a challenge!

After a quick and simple lunch, before the kids were back from school, he called Radha. She came with a cup of coffee for him and he asked her what exactly are you looking for? As Radha described, he made a note of every point in a paper. Finally, he proved to her that all her requirements are nothing but what are they already having in their existing apartment. As the truth was revealed, Radha was astounded! She didn’t know she was knowingly doing this!

She realised then, its not easy to find another apartment exactly like the one they are in! Once this is set, next steps were easy. They found a couple of ads and called up the owner and fixed an appointment, the next day.

The next day, Radha finished cooking very early and they both went and saw the apartment. Radha was quiet through out the way and once inside the apartment, she just accepted what is what! The owner was very cordial and accepted that they could move in only after a month! The rent was also not so high and advance amount was also as expected. Radha just told Krishna to confirm.

Once back home, Krishna was surprised that she accepted! He asked her, how come you accepted without telling them that we would discuss after we get back home? Radha said, my mind was clear after you proved to me what I wanted was just a repeat of what I am already having. So I told myself to accept whatever apartment we see first and trust God that all will be well as you always say Krishna.

That’s what I did!

Now this apartment is well ventilated, has a puja shelf, a compact kitchen and two bedrooms and a hall, I am happy! I can still drop and pickup kids easily by walk! I didn’t compromise on my no ground or top floor though, as I have set my priority right!

So many times in life, we do this unknowingly! We need a dress but we will look for what we had already, color or pattern and end up saying, I don’t like it! We look for our city in a new city and crib! We are all so afraid of the change that we find it hard to fit in! This house hunt has taught me this, not that I don’t know this, yet, my mind was clouded and needed an inside cleaning!