The small joys of life

 What drives us, 

keeps us to go on

a pause during play

are the small joys of life!

A cup of tea,

a short video,

a small joke shared or 

a hug or kiss from my kid

are the small joys of life!

A phone call from mom,

spouse asking if I have eaten,

close friend asking all good?

are the small joys of life!

A movie in ott with family

a calm sunday morning

no hustle in the day

are the small joys of life

Meditation done well

A motivational talk,

Listening to someone's else's journey to success

are the small joys of life!

Entering a clean home,

laundry and vessels done,

a small prayer

are all the small joys of life!

A job well done 

even when not recognized

but to our satisfaction

is the small joy of life!

What we all care for

is actually such small joys

which when done right

put us on to the great path ahead! 

A Divine Chapter

What seeded in me as a small flicker, grew stronger as a fire and HE showed me the next steps and today I stand in front of HIM, my head bent down in gratitude, as tears rolled down as we all uttered Krishna, Karunya Sindho from the 100th Dasakam of Narayaneeyam.

During Covid, the whatsapp messages said, read this sloka from Narayaneeyam, chant that Dasakam from Narayaneeyam etc.. I was like, Oh I haven't learnt this divine work and may God show me the way somehow!

One day, a good friend of mine called me up and said hey I am starting Narayaneeyam class, wanted to know if you will be interested! I was overjoyed! 

There were many ups and downs but Narayaneeyam class on Sundays at 3 pm became a routine! If I would have to miss a class due to some genuine reasons and when I pray, Krishna has helped me many a times that the class would get moved to some other time or the next week! That was a miracle!

Earnest prayers are always answered!

Today, as we were learning the 100th Dasakam, I felt emotional especially when chanting the 9th sloka, I don't know why!

Dasakam 25 is my all time favourite and my goto Dasakam for any challenge Life had given me to face! Dasakam 8, last sloka was recommended by Mahaperiyava himself to be chanted everyday! 

Though each Dasakam is a gem, my knowledge is very limited and a huge thanks to my Guru for taking us through this journey with the same patience as day 1! Along our baby steps, she didn't leave our hands and helped us in every class. 

Seeking HIS grace to guide us in every step we take, here we surrender to you Krishna..

The intricate art of making tea.

Having tea outside doesn't suit me. I am not a coffee lover like my hubby, so it becomes tough when I travel.

At home, I usually add a tiny bit of ginger or cardamom or both and bring it to a boil. If the tea isn't good, it brings headache to me!

When hubby offers tea, I mostly refuse in restaurants, but sometimes I give in. But, no restaurant has ever met my requirements!

That doesn't mean, I set high expectations, but I need the tea to taste like tea!

Either the milk is over boiled, or tea is too strong or the sugar is beyond measures and I doubt what I jus sipped was payasam or chai!

Even in Kerala, I couldn't taste a good tea. So I decided to renounce it during travel and have only at home! One day, during travel, I had a bad headache and after having lunch at the restaurant, hubby offered tea. I said I'll have if they serve ginger tea looking at the menu card. Luckily, the waiter said they do have and served the perfect ginger tea as I was quick enough to say less sugar please.

It took so many years to ask what I want! Ginger tea with less sugar or masala chai with less sugar. When in Ooty, no tea stall or restaurant served both! They had some brown liquid renamed as chai and my mom said, you won't even touch the glass if you saw how he made it!

At some houses, the tea filter shows their experience in life! Its tough stained, the original color forgotten like the brown cloth they use in tea shops! Instead of boiling the milk and tea powder, some people are so ingenious to add the decoction to milk! That equation works for coffee and not for tea! I feel like saying it loud!

Some boil the decoction with milk only to have a over boiled milk chai! Or worse are the tea bags! Keep dipping it and the color never changes! One bag, add one more, still it isn't working! Now you add another, you feel its too strong! Finally, you feel like spending too much time for a cup of tea!

When in US, hubby said the tea tasted so good in star bucks! I was surprised! He said its called chai latte and brought one. I sipped and said, this is cinnamon chai and while making at home, added a pinch and gave it to him! He was impressed! I then said, don't waste your dollars on that light tea, instead have it at home so I'll have company!

Finally, I found the secret recipe. I buy two 100g packs of my favorite tea powders, mix them together and store it. Then make tea the usual way but this mixing gives color, flavor and taste. Now, you get that taste in every cup, every time! Any added masala is a plus and it never brings down the taste of chai.

Now I take leave as it's time to have my yummy tea!

Dedicated to all tea lovers, like me

This post written almost 5 hears back popped up in my facebook page..

The joys of a joint family

 

There existed a species in India from 1970 – 1990s, where a minimum of 10 individuals stayed under the same roof, every day!

This group would mainly have a family head, his wife and a minimum of two sons and their families, which comprised of their wife and kids. Any guests coming for visits or stay would also happen on a regular basis.

The kids in the family had the privilege to be together, have seniors at home to learn from, have yummy meals from time to time and also a part when arguments and fights happen. When only the husband and wife live together, arguments happen! Then what to say when ten people stay together?!

A mini big boss house with twenty cameras (all are watching)!

But, they cherished the family bond! They knew their priorities!

The kid is not only the child to his parents but his uncles, aunts and grandparents had every right to discipline him or appreciate him. Someone from the family drops in school, someone picks up. Any adult visits the school for parent teacher meeting and the school accepted that! Books were shared and comics discussed, its also fun! Everyone had at least one friend at home!

Some uncle or aunt at home will be there at home to receive these kids back from school, if not the grandparents were home so that they could share their days happenings with the cousins, there was a vent.

There is one common kitchen which buzzes with activities from 6 am or even before that! All three meals of the day, the lunches, the coffees, the pickles and the applam, vadam, everything is made from this heart of the house! The women shared the work, washing, cooking and utensils, sweeping and mopping the floor. Whoever comes early from work checks for availability of vegetables and groceries. Ice creams and cakes were bought once in a year!

Parenting was easier in joint families, kids get sick, there is always that experienced grand mother and aunty who had faced and will give you solutions in a jiffy! Instead of running to the doctors, these home-made remedies would work most of the times.

One car, if at all the family had, would be shared, else everyone had their scooter or even worse, walking was the companion!

We didn’t lose anything! Actually, we learnt a lot.

If the sharing was fair, the expenses and emotions and the space, we didn’t lose anything!

But some unfairness here and there, a small smoke inside and privacy lost, the basic system was broken and everyone showed their supremacy and knowledge in running their own households.

Earning capability came in to picture and all wanted to make money.

So, sprang the day care centres, the tuition centres and classes to take care of the toddlers and the school children until the parents came back home. Same with restaurants, the fast food joints and other snack shops! How many shops you remember seeing in the 1990s?

All rushed home to have a dinner and crash. Again, the next morning, all run their respective races and the repeat mode on!

So, parents couldn’t spend more time with kids to know what kids faced in school every day and however tough the chapter was, please ask your tuition teacher, we are paying no?! was the standard reply. Parent’s struggles every day at workplace, amidst transfers and financial management was bigger when compared to the kid’s issues!

Yes, syllabus challenging and so many other things faced by children everyday outside their homes, emotionally, physically and mentally. If parents don’t speak to them, who will? Many kids started to feel lonely and isolated.  

Its not enough to celebrate birthdays with cake cuttings with extended family invited, or the other occasions. That would be more work for the parents!

Can we consciously bring those days back for kids? Is that possible even to think that way with our giant egos inflated?

Time to wake up before the next generation decides not to get married!

 

I open at the close!

All the Harry potter fans know this line, the importance given to it!

When Harry realises that he has to face death, he accepts it! A young boy accepts what life throws at him and bravely goes to meet Voldemort to get himself killed!

Now, why am I bringing this here? To me, its an anology, a very important question, which made me accept certain situations in life, otherwise I would never have even acknowledged! 

There were a tsunami of thoughts when I was told I need a surgery! All within 3 weeks, examined, tests taken and decision made! Date finalized!! I had to prepare my parents and more importantly, my kids! I know my hubby would do a great job, in supporting me and so together we prepared our kids mentally.

My daughter was never away from me, even for a night! She would never sleep over even at my mom's for the reason that she would miss me! On the day of my admission, I had to leave after they came back from school. I, a very timid person had to make her bold and courageous, I had fought my tears but her tears won in the end making me cry too! But by God's grace, I managed pretty well.

When I had to go in to the theatre, I had to motivate myself again and again. This line from Harry Potter made me do it! One last time, I chanted God's name and told myself accept and give in. Let him take over! We are all nothing but a speck of dust in front of HIM. 

All went well and the same night, I was back in the room, almost conscious! The courage I faced after was many times better than before. This taught me what all had I taken for granted in life! Now I needed someone to take me to the bathroom, help me brush! Wow..

Humility is God's syllabus over and over again! What we think we achieved in life, accomplished, nothing matters! God teaches us lessons when the appropriate time comes and I needed that lesson! Because God's ways are his ways and I made some mistakes or sins which needed correction.

I also remembered Kunti who prayed for troubles so that she would never forget God! What a weird wish I used to think but after this episode, I felt closer to God! 

Even if this is my close, I am glad with myself that I opened! 

I accepted(even without a choice, its the hardest lesson).

Vishnupriya

When son became the daughter in law!

 

When son became the daughter in law!

When Ram had a ritual at home on the occasion of Navaratri, his sisters and brothers and mother came over. Ram lives with Shreya and their daughter Ria. Ram had to discuss with Shreya that this year was their turn to host!

Initially Shreya was doubtful if she could really manage as they had missed the previous years get togethers due to office work and were in a different city. Ram assured that he will help her.

He has two sisters and two brothers. so totally it was 15 people!

Food was made at home. Ram chopped the vegetables and helped clean the house. Since the number of people are more, Shreya usually gets scared to cook! She quickly managed to make dal, curry, sambar, rasam, payasam and vada. Sweets were got from outside.

The kids watched tv or mobile and nobody actually socialised. The elders were talking about other relatives, weddings and other functions that happened or coming up.

His mom and sisters kept giving Ram, instructions and was pointing this was not done this way, the lamp needs to be lighted with multiple wicks, etc.. At one point, Shreya sympathised with him and came near him and told this is the moment the son has become the daughter in law!

You just move and I will take care. Ram was relieved. He couldn’t talk back but Shreya would cut things straight. Even Ria came and told her mom that her aunt and grand mom were commenting about her eating. Shreya calmed her and said, its okay, just eat.

After the puja and the lunch, everybody was tired. All had coffee or tea and one by one left with return gifts. After all left, the house became home again. As food was left, some was taken by whoever wanted for dinner and Shreya was more than happy to give. She then made rice and rasam and closed the day early.

Though these kind of get togethers are needed to stay connected, its not necessary to do these out of compulsion or formality. If we are not comfortable, its fine to stay out of it. Even kids are so sensitive these days that they cannot accept criticism. We get holidays like these rarely and it is important that everyone gets their space.  

Its more important that the husband and the wife stay connected first! Because these get togethers also become a reason for divorces! Peace is the utmost goal. 

 

The 4’o clock hunger

 

How do you feel at 4 pm everyday?

Every time hunger is challenging, no doubt! but especially at this time, 4 pm I lose myself! This hunger is not satiated with tea or coffee but having samosa or something fried or from a packet is so tempting!

Doctors suggest sundal, sprouts and fruits but sprouts and salads I am really sorry, I can’t accept you at this time! Fruits are fine but I keep them for later hunger around 6pm. Another important fact is to eat that sundal or sprouts, I should be the one soaking it or making it and thanks to my memory, I forget it! Its either over sprouted, stinks and forgotten or missed to be soaked!

To help myself and others, before the hungry me becomes the angry me, I pop in some dry fruits, like raisins because they are friendly and need not be soaked like the almonds! Cashews may be risky but black raisins are good for women health too! I don’t believe in any bars, however healthy they are! I prefer making some til or groundnut laddus at home and pop them in.

Why people tempt us with those bajji, murukku, samosa along with tea! Even tea kadai biscuits are so yum but we can’t take them because of the oil and maida content.

Once this time is crossed, I am happy again like a baby waiting for his mom to come back home. I look forward to dinner time which must be usually around 7, thanks to Dr. Pal else the kitchen is up till 9! 

Indians must also practise supper at 6 or 7 like the good old days and restore our health.

Its time to remember to soak some channa for tomorrow's 4 pm, so see you later!