Mothers and Guilt

          

What is it with women and guilt?! Precisely, with mothers and guilt! We always feel something guilty, about not being extra cautious, more patient, more loving, more what not!

          Motherhood in itself brings loads of relentless work, why trouble us more by feeling guilty?! If they catch cold, then comes the thought, “I should have been more careful and the water should have been really hot during bath” or “I should not have let him play so much and sweat so much”. Its ALRIGHT if kids fall sick. They are kids and they tend to fall sick. For each and every instance, we cannot blame ourselves! This is tougher for mothers riding both the horses, the home and work-place! It ends up in frustration and finally depression!

          Agreed, that mother’s role has scope for perfection every day, so does all the other roles! All the roles we do in our lives have scope for perfection! True, isn’t it? Then why mothers are so fussy and blame themselves?

          Its ok to not love our kids sometimes! Sometimes, YES, it does happen that you no more feel like being with them and sometimes do not want to see your spouse too. That means we need some “My time”. Please allow yourself to have this. Its very important to keep you calm. Close your eyes or sleep for sometime in another room. Come out after an hour or so. Do not allow anybody into the room.

          Just remind yourself all the struggles you have faced before becoming a mother. Those situations when you have felt small jus because you didn’t have a kid, when someone asked you..or some family function where you saw someone with their daughter, a photocopy of her mother and how you wished you wanted one too, of all the check ups and the bladder full scans, the medicines that you had during pregnancy, how the smell of everything made you vomit, how you felt those tiny movements inside you, that tiny dub-dub all the time and how it responded when you kept your hands on the spot, how the baby ran from one end to another inside your tummy when they had CTG checked, how relieved you were when your doctor said all is well.

          After becoming the mother that you wanted, where has all the energy gone? Its tough managing the kids, the house and everything around, but this was what had been done by your mom, aunts, granny, friends, everybody around you. Everybody gets frustrated over a period of time, and we are no exception. Just call up a friend who is that leaning shoulder. Just lean on her and she will understand what exactly is going on.

          Though this is not as appreciable as the corporate work,its vital! Corporates close for holidays, do we at home? Whatever, mother and kitchen should keep running, both for nourishment, one for the family and other for the stomach.

          When kids search for me after they wake up, I feel happy. When they don’t want anybody else, but me, I feel proud. When she clings to me, I feel contented. When he hides behind my dress, I feel responsible. When in the middle of the night they search for me and hug me during sleep, I feel complete.

          So push the guilt to the back seat and enjoy the roller coaster ride! :)