Complex Relationship

Why is the relationship between a father and son so complicated?

When a son is born, the dad’s joy knows no bounds and he’s on top of the world. Soon he gives up all his bad habits for the sake of his son and even comes home early to spend time with his junior. Dad is overjoyed when someone says the son resembles him.

The bonding is very special. Dad becomes a super hero for a son and he enjoys spending time with dad. Everywhere the family goes out, the son glues to the dad. The little one starts going to school now and learns so many things. Dad takes him on bike and car rides and gets him everything the son wants! Slowly, the son grows and so does the wall between the dad and son.

Dad wants his son to do what all he could not do as a boy and lives his dreams through his son but the son has his own individual likes and dislikes! The small boy becomes a teenager and the adolescent age is very challenging to handle. Mom handles it with ease and the closeness between the son and the mother now grows up! The same fails with the dad.

Dad doesn’t want his son to argue with him but everything lands up in argument, right from the dresses, movies, studies to food items! The unpleasantness gets created slowly and soon dad and son meet each other only at dinner times. Dad gets busier with work and the son with his own project work at school and college! There are just hi s and bye s and in case of any other issues, mom needs to play the role of a mediator.

Soon the son goes to college and the choice of the course is also done after so many arguments! He wants to be left to be himself but dad is over concerned about his future! Friends now become their heroes and life is completely enjoyable spending time with them. The guy now comes home just to eat and sleep!

Dad broods over all this each night to the mother that he’s not given proper respect by the son. Now the young man goes to work and the wall becomes even stronger. He gets his first salary and gets mom a sari and dad a shirt. He slowly takes up the responsibilities at home but  Dad is not willing to give it away as it would mean that he has become useless.

Even in good interests, if the son asks the dad to take rest, dad takes it as a blow at his ego! Soon the dad is in his 60’s and son in 20’s. Even a funny comment on anything becomes a serious issue at home and ends up in high pitched arguments!

Mom gets irritated between the two after so many years and chooses her son over the husband. Even when she explains the correct side, the dad is not ready to accept. Thus the days goes on and the wall becomes thicker and thicker.  One day, the dad writes a letter to the son and leaves the world. The son reads and re-reads the letter and cries over. He cries aloud saying sorry to his Dad.

What is the point of crying now? What is the point of having bottled up love for each other without expressing it? What is the point of living like two strangers when alive and crying after everything is over?

Let us all learn to love while living. How can we forget what all dad has done for us? He has not bought a scooter for himself but bought the son a cycle and he preferred to use the public transport to cut down the expenses.

Not all dads are expressive. Sometimes, they feel they need to be rigid so that the son cannot take them for granted for everything and dad thinks that he stops his son from going in to wrong ways.

Speak over! Talking to each other calmly can change so many things. Communicate with love and break this wall. Dad cannot keep thinking that his son is not good enough in anything because we all know thoughts become things!

We don’t have to prove to each other who is right and who is wrong. This is life and not chemical equations and time is ticking away!