Project Plan

Project Plan

How many years project is bringing up kids? Family?
Parenting project is like five-year plan? 6,7,10,15 or forever?? 

Why nobody told us what's it is like to parent kids? What is it like to swim in the ocean of family? (samsara sagaram) Why the vital things are not shared explicitly? Why this project comes with a disclaimer and is left for the individual’s knowledge?

Everyone says wedding is to have the soulmate, that friend for life, that companion with whom she wants to share everything under the sun! 
But the reality is, after the initial 2 years, no husband is ready to sit and listen!

The women end up sharing among themselves and realize that almost everyone is undergoing the very same!

Getting married and having kids is the first five-year plan. The next 5 years she will undergo so many things, that you could write a book! She has to take care of the kid in all ways and so obviously, the hubby becomes second. She wants to give the very best to the child, so she pushes herself, everyday!
If the child is sick, she feels tired, devoid of hunger and sleep. She becomes normal only after the child is back in good health. Till such time, everyone has to adjust to that simple cooking, the messy house and the grumpy her!

As a mother, she feels teaching the kids the right things are her responsibilities. From brushing their teeth to putting them to bed, she does it with 100% involvement and also get frustrated because of being proactive. She learns all home remedies from her mother, granny, mother-in-law, friend’s friend, anyone whom she trusts!

The first five years are very crucial, the experienced say. It’s true that these five years are for developing their health, immunity, basics in education, language, keeping their brains sharp and active, language, good behavior, social skills, discipline, reading and writing, cultural values through music and dance. It’s also the right age to find their interests and potential.

These 5 years are also tiring for the mother as she is the pillar of support for the kids. She has to dedicate her time in shaping them. She decides everything for them and any mistake, even trivial is not accepted by her.

When she means, the water has to be hot, it has to be! There is NO adjustment to it being warm! If no ice cream means, NO ice cream! Simple! Her word is the rule and no surpassing or breaking rules is accepted! She doesn’t outsource any tasks and keep checking it from time to time if she had no other option but to assign someone!

When she parents her kids, she also finds that she has to parent her spouse, many a times! These 5 years are also the basis for bonding! Even though the mom is strict, kids would love to have her around. That sense of accomplishment is enough for her that she has not done anything wrong.

The next 5 years are an indicator of busy years ahead for the kid and also the mom. When she’s the tutor at home, she is the friend who accompanies them to all classes, kids learn the art or the skill. She cannot leave them to go alone and has to plan her work accordingly to be with them!

If these 10 years are got right, can we be sure that rest is also right? Well, it’s not so in parenting! We cannot relax! There comes the life’s lesson that its not important how far have we come, but what lies ahead is even more important!

The next few years from 12-19 are the teen years and kids undergo many major changes. The parent has to be a friend now and everything needs to be said, but in a way where the kid doesn’t get offended! These years are the make or break years that decides the transparency in the parent-child relationship.

As kids grow, this woman finds she has more time in hand now. That’s from 8am-3pm when kids are at school. 

Amidst all these, she has to plan for her profession, the vacations, the visits to the relatives, the festivals at home, the ‘being there’ for everyone whenever she’s wanted and also repeat all the above if there comes another kid!

She yearns for her time with the spouse, but he’s so busy now! Accustomed to the fact that she’s busy all the time, he had invested more of his time into work and his hobbies and now cannot pull himself away from it.

If at a later stage, she says I changed my profession after you were born, kids would say, that was your choice, I didn’t ask you to do so! If the same woman climbs up her professional ladder, the kid would also say, you weren’t with me in the school days! It’s all because of you, I’m like this, now!

Like the strong iron, she has to magnetize the moments and stand rigid aptly!

Once when kids settle, this woman has all the time in the world! The hubby would now wonder, why she has all the time that she’s demanding time from me?! I was at peace all the past years, now that she wants to spend time with me!

When she had time, he didn’t have it,

When he wanted her near, she was busy with kids

When the kids are growing, she was always sought after!

When the kids are settled, he is too busy to spend time with her

In between all the growing up years

Both had managed to accept kids and family are important

And adjusted to just have an eye contact

He had learnt to invest his time

And now that she has finally time in her hands,

She doesn’t know what to do!

She feels shy to learn new skills by joining classes and eventually turns into void!

The project is in maintenance phase and would again move in to development when she has to do the consultant role as an evolved grandparent! Sometimes, she has to take care of the grand child, but she does it with full enthusiasm!

To feel accomplished, this woman should get what she wants too! She should make out time with her spouse, however less it may seem. Even a small talk everyday would suffice along with a small walk! How much ever busy both may be, the project heads should discuss! This is much needed for both, in their otherwise busy worlds! Kids should be taught not to disturb them and anything can wait for those 15-30 minutes!

The project of family is again at where it all started, but now with a bird’s eye view. She has to show the path to her children, how to parent, properly!