To go or Not to go

This has been the question that’s going on for sometime now.

From 38 degrees Celsius to 38 degrees Fahrenheit, it has been a great change in every way.

What people find interesting here in the US and what impresses them. My 2 cents based on my life here for the past one year, to be precise, 14 months... I have classified as the man of the house, the woman, the kids and the visiting parent’s perspective.

Guys:

Guys are very happy that they can make more money and they can come back home by 6pm every day! This has never happened in India and when people leave at 6, they would be seen as taking a half day leave! So, work wise, they would get recognized for the efforts put in and they think they can have work-life balance. They can even pursue their passion like sports or gym in the weekends. Though the reality is like they do have more work, still weekends are a big plus! They aren’t expected to connect to their laptop and respond to the mails and do their work! Even though they have early morning calls or late-night calls, still work isn’t that pressurizing in the US when compared to India.

Women:

Well, this is a hit or miss depending on the status of the visa. If the women have a work visa, its better for her to work, earn something than sitting at home. Savings increase, kids are sent to day care for the whole day program and half her salary goes to that! If she chooses to work, she can opt for a professional cleaner every month to clean the house and the bathtubs and the bathrooms. If she chooses not to, then all the above becomes her responsibility. Though every apartment has a dishwasher, many women don’t use this invention and they become the dish washers! Some women even wash 3- 4 times a day! This is apart from school pickup and drops, dusting, cooking, laundry, etc..

Grocery shopping is a weekend ritual for the whole family.

There are no family politics to attend to and similarly no family functions too! She has to be her own company and keep her sanity as kids are in school and hubby at work! Weekends get busier with more dishes to make or outings and preparing for the week ahead.

Monday morning dawns with a messier house and whole loads of tasks to do!

Kids:

Kids would naturally love it here for the following reasons.

Unlike India, school is not mandatory until they are 5 years old! Sending to a preschool is optional. And even if they are sent, half days are learnings and the extended day care students stay till 6pm. Schools have fun filled learnings in play way methods and kids just love to go to school.

Kindergarten start at the age of 5 and they have homework only once a week. You get the weekend folders to see what they are learning and there is absolutely no compulsion to complete the homework and also no pressure for kids till are 10 years of age, ie., till they complete their elementary school. Actual learning happens in middle school and from there it is heavy syllabus.

Every community has a large park or play area where kids love to play, every day. Scooters and bicycles are learnt easily due to the abundance of space. They also have the access to the ipad, iphone and the video games life WII and PS4.

They get an opportunity to attend swimming classes, table tennis or any sport they are interested in, other than the cultural classes we enroll them in. Some kids are enrolled in language classes too with the uncertainty what if I get back to India?  

Libraries are free membership and the knowledge they impart is huge! Everyone visits the library once a week and even kids are encouraged in school. The roads are all neat and clean and everyone obeys traffic signals even at 12 in the nights! Everyone adheres to the rules and regulations, in their apartment community, office, school, on the road, at the library, temple, malls and everywhere! You need to shell out a lion's share if anyone falls sick. Insurance is a major whirlpool where everyone gets trapped into.

Visiting Grandparents:

When parents come on a vacation to stay with their son or daughter, they are so happy for the 3 months and then boredom starts hitting them! They are dependent on the children to take them out and there are no shops or anything where they can walk by themselves! The void of the American life hits them hard when grandchildren cross 5 years of age! Kids would reply in English and parents talk to them in the mother tongue. Kids get so easily adaptive to this culture. The parties, sleep overs and the play dates shock the grandparents and to some extent, to the parents too, but the parents accept them as a part of their so called American dream.

Slowly due to age and health, grandparents stop coming to the US and the younger generation visits once in 2-3 years.

Once kids become 8-9 years, it becomes too tough to pull them back to India. So, parents decide to continue here, with the green card in progress, life moves fast as kids near high school. Once they enter college, parents are compelled to continue as they can’t leave kids here and move back!

Their dollar dreams made them stay here initially and now their kids refuse to move out! Giving in to them, life continues and so does the void! Everything is there, still parents have a hollow inside them. At the age of 50, they crave moving back, but thinking of the life style back home, they restrict themselves to continue.

All said and done, priorities play the pivotal role. It depends on the individual’s thoughts and perceptions. Wherever the heart is calm, that’s the place to be! One, there should be complete acceptance wherever we are, or we should choose that place where our soul is. Life is not to be lived for proving to others, its in those moments in which we are sincere to ourselves.

Looking at the mirror in the bathroom, ask yourself what’s most important to you? Where do you want to be? If the answer matches with the place of stay, then congratulations, you are compatible with yourself! If not, please learn that compatibility first and rest all will fall in its place.

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts and if anything is disappointing, kindly accept my apologies!