Maid-less!

When we moved back to India from the US after a period of 14 months, everyone suggested me to have a maid again, to reduce the house work like dusting the floor and washing utensils as it would be tough for me with 5-year old twins, their school work, classes, etc…

My parents and hubby also listed out the advantages of having a maid to help and that’s the best part of living in India!

We thought about it and though I was hesitant at first because I had been there with a maid already for the last 4 years after kids, and I know how irritating it is to wait for her to turn up with a sink full of dirty vessels and the floor is dusty till the afternoon! Still, as I had to pick up and drop kids, I thought I will give it a try again!

Our old maid willingly agreed and the only thing I told her was not to take leave unnecessarily and to inform me earlier on such days.

She started coming, regular for the first week but after that, at her will. There was no fixed time and come weekends, it was like asking her permission to go out! She wanted to know everything and was interfering! Just when we are about to leave, she would turn up! If I called her, she would say she is on the way and will show up after half an hour!

She used to take 1.5 hrs. to wash the vessels and dusting the 700 sq. ft apartment. I asked her to do the wiping only twice a week and, on those days, it would take longer! She would come, play with the kids, keep talking and comparing her grandson to our kids and slowly do her work. My daughter is inquisitive, and she would ask her 10 questions! Most of the days, she used to take a nap here which we never mind, considering her age.  

Within a month, her leave increased. First time, she said she was sick, then she had to visit a temple. Then after a week, someone else died and then another 10 days, she had to go to the hospital! After two months, I realized she has taken 5 days minimum every month! As her hubby delivered our milk packets, I casually asked him what has happened to her when he came to collect money. He told me she had gone to the hospital, but she had told me she is out of station! I felt cheated!

Though, we don’t cut the pay, I felt humiliated as I had to do everything and that too she will inform only after 2pm! The one-day leave will get extended to the next day as she would say some reason for being tired, or she came jus that day morning, etc., etc... I didn’t like to wait indefinitely for her!

I was slowly building up the heat inside me. The floor just then dusted would again have some dirt and I didn’t mind mopping it after she left. Same with vessels, I would silently wash them again without her knowledge.

As I had only few vessels, I had to have them washed for the next day. So, I would wash the tumblers, spoons, the lids etc. every night and my hubby would ask why to have a maid if you are doing half the work! I would say I can’t keep these waiting for her!

During the third month, I told her I had PTA in school on a Saturday morning. She said she would come in the afternoon (as usual!). So, when we were back from school, we stopped to shop bags for the kids, she called. I said we are on the way and she cut the phone call. Once home, I didn’t see her anywhere and no call too. I called her, and she coolly said I am not coming today as someone passed away! I lost my cool. If she had to inform, she could have informed when I was in the shop itself, I could have taken a little more time! The next day also, she didn’t turn up and there was no information!

When she came on Monday, I made her do all the work and said from tomorrow, she need not come and settled her dues. She had nothing to say! After she left, I felt liberated! I felt something that was pressurizing me had left and I felt so relaxed!

I knew well what lies ahead but I was sure I can manage without her. Yes, it involved lot of efforts and time management, but it wasn’t impossible! I was worried what if I fall sick and what if I had to sit with kids for study, etc. All of us had to work as a team and I started implementing the rules. I told the kids to keep the toys and books back after playing, studying, etc. and made them understand how much work is there at home and if they don’t do it, I must do it! Kids started to turn off the fan and light when coming out of the room, help me clean up the hall, etc. They understood what Amma says is not just for saying and she means it if she says things on the floor will move to trash if left there!

Weekends especially, I could plan outings without any dependency! All I had to do was to dust and wipe the floor in the mornings. I could even afford to wipe the floor whenever I wanted, and I felt house was cleaner when I did it! Throwing the trash regularly made me feel good. Vessels wasn’t an issue as I am used to washing them immediately after lunch/dinner and dividing the work helped! Hubby pitched in to wash vessels in the weekend, whenever he could!

Life seemed easier and peaceful! I knew what lies ahead and could plan my day better! I have gained the confidence that even if I must go out during the week, I can still finish the chores! All it takes is a little daring and the confidence that I can do it!

Now I am maid-less but with mindfulness 😊