Parenting musings
A family of 3, a mom, dad and about 4 years old boy were also staying in the same hotel as us. When we checked in that day around 11 am, they had come down to start for sight seeing. There was a souvenir shop at the ground floor of the hotel. I came to know about it just because of that small boy!
As we were offered tea, we sat there to have it. That small boy was not willing to go out with his parents and was throwing a tantrum! He was saying he needs some toy in Hindi. The mom went before and the dad was cajoling him but the boy didn't yield! My motherly antenna rose up!
As our kids were watching that, I tried to distract them and by the time I finished my tea and went to have a view of the hotel's garden, I saw the boy smiling wide with a big box in his hands. He was telling his mom, how beautiful ma this toy is with her replying, this time, I let you have but this is not good. The boy didn't even listen to her and was smiling. They gave him their expensive mobile phone and asked him to click few snaps of them which he did in a jiffy!
I was wondering what all would have she thought before she bought it?! Was it the greater good that she gave him that toy so that their sightseeing isn't at stake? So, he comes with them happily and behaves the whole day? Or is it her peace of mind and avoidance of fight between her and her hubby that she gave in?! What if he throws another tantrum for something else during the day, will she be forced to give in or may be she'll deal with him alone later, these were my spectrum of thoughts!
My daughter was quick to observe, Amma he stopped crying because they got him that toy! Can I have it too?! Now came my challenge! I said, let's first freshen up and then talk about it and so saying took the kids to our room. Challenge postponed!
That evening when we came back from sightseeing, hotel staff said high tea is complimentary. We all again sat on the sofa and saw tea was available on a table. But for that, there was nothing high about it! The snacks that came with it were our usual diamond biscuits, made of maida and cut in diamond shape in our homes! But what I forgot was the souvenir shop!!
Kids again started and this time, hubby came up with the idea of the hotel's play area. Immediately, kids went out to play and forgot all about that for that night! I joined them too with the realisation that my tea that I make at home is the best tea!
The next morning when we started, kids didn't ask about the toy as it was exciting for them to go and see animals. When in the car they asked, we told them clearly if you behave and earn it, we will think about it! The whole day, they cooperated so well and in the evening, after we returned, my mom and I went to the shop and got them binoculars and gave as a surprise gift for their good behaviors. Kids were very happy and started to play with it.
Now this trip taught me few things, 1. Distract and postpone, we don't have to face it the same moment.
2. Like any toy, this too will pile up at home and I told kids that if they can send any toy out of the house, then only can they have the next toy! Also, if I end up cleaning it, it will go missing.
3. Give the kids, choices so that they get the decision making skills and responsibility.
4. Add a surprise word to every gift so that they will understand its got as a recognition!
Till today, the binoculars are kept properly. Coming days will decide its fate!
Parenting is like a circus! Sometimes, we have to tame, sometimes do the aerial jumping acts and also be a ring mistress, all at the same time!
--Vishnupriya
A family of 3, a mom, dad and about 4 years old boy were also staying in the same hotel as us. When we checked in that day around 11 am, they had come down to start for sight seeing. There was a souvenir shop at the ground floor of the hotel. I came to know about it just because of that small boy!
As we were offered tea, we sat there to have it. That small boy was not willing to go out with his parents and was throwing a tantrum! He was saying he needs some toy in Hindi. The mom went before and the dad was cajoling him but the boy didn't yield! My motherly antenna rose up!
As our kids were watching that, I tried to distract them and by the time I finished my tea and went to have a view of the hotel's garden, I saw the boy smiling wide with a big box in his hands. He was telling his mom, how beautiful ma this toy is with her replying, this time, I let you have but this is not good. The boy didn't even listen to her and was smiling. They gave him their expensive mobile phone and asked him to click few snaps of them which he did in a jiffy!
I was wondering what all would have she thought before she bought it?! Was it the greater good that she gave him that toy so that their sightseeing isn't at stake? So, he comes with them happily and behaves the whole day? Or is it her peace of mind and avoidance of fight between her and her hubby that she gave in?! What if he throws another tantrum for something else during the day, will she be forced to give in or may be she'll deal with him alone later, these were my spectrum of thoughts!
My daughter was quick to observe, Amma he stopped crying because they got him that toy! Can I have it too?! Now came my challenge! I said, let's first freshen up and then talk about it and so saying took the kids to our room. Challenge postponed!
That evening when we came back from sightseeing, hotel staff said high tea is complimentary. We all again sat on the sofa and saw tea was available on a table. But for that, there was nothing high about it! The snacks that came with it were our usual diamond biscuits, made of maida and cut in diamond shape in our homes! But what I forgot was the souvenir shop!!
Kids again started and this time, hubby came up with the idea of the hotel's play area. Immediately, kids went out to play and forgot all about that for that night! I joined them too with the realisation that my tea that I make at home is the best tea!
The next morning when we started, kids didn't ask about the toy as it was exciting for them to go and see animals. When in the car they asked, we told them clearly if you behave and earn it, we will think about it! The whole day, they cooperated so well and in the evening, after we returned, my mom and I went to the shop and got them binoculars and gave as a surprise gift for their good behaviors. Kids were very happy and started to play with it.
Now this trip taught me few things, 1. Distract and postpone, we don't have to face it the same moment.
2. Like any toy, this too will pile up at home and I told kids that if they can send any toy out of the house, then only can they have the next toy! Also, if I end up cleaning it, it will go missing.
3. Give the kids, choices so that they get the decision making skills and responsibility.
4. Add a surprise word to every gift so that they will understand its got as a recognition!
Till today, the binoculars are kept properly. Coming days will decide its fate!
Parenting is like a circus! Sometimes, we have to tame, sometimes do the aerial jumping acts and also be a ring mistress, all at the same time!
--Vishnupriya
Hope mrinu reads this after 10 years! 😆
ReplyDeleteShe will Ram 😂.
ReplyDeleteAs usual your writing ✍️ very natural and reminded me that
I missed all these things as usual 😂
Beautifully articulated..
ReplyDeleteThank you Lavanya :)
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