I happened to read an article about hostel life for kids. It has disturbed me so much that I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights.
Now a days, the cost of living has gone up so much and both the parents are forced to earn. Schools demand more money and we stand in queues to get their application forms. Getting selected in such schools is a huge process in itself, that it would need another blog post! While many manage to bring up kids at home with or without support from the in-laws, some seek the help of boarding schools where kids have to stay in a hostel after school and parents are allowed to meet them once in a week or month depending on the school rules.
What parents see when they leave kids is NOT the true picture of the kid's everyday life in the hostel. As mothers, we feel a huge void when we first leave them at a playschool or a school after being with them full time for all the 2-3 years. Those 1 or 2 hours would move very slowly and only after a month, both the kid and mother would get used to it. Leaving them in a hostel is a tougher decision. Parents trust the school so much that their kids would come out in flying colors if left in the hostel.
But kids miss so many things! They miss being with the parents, having fun time, family dinner times, suddenly made sweets/snacks, sibling fights, meeting relatives, the each and every small festival we celebrate at home. Obviously, school would declare holidays only for major festivals! Parents too spend sleepless nights initially, worried about how the kid got adjusted to the new environment, food, etc..
When it comes to disciplining, schools/hostel have a major role. We would do less at home because these are our kids and we think they will anyways learn. But, can we expect the same from the school? How assured we are that kids aren't beaten? So many whatsapp messages and fb posts that kids are beaten up in hostels keep popping!
Hostel life does discipline children where they have to take bath by themselves, eat by themselves and suppress their wants, as everything happens according to time in hostels but learning to be independent from a very small age is not necessary.
Disciplining other's kids is relatively easier than disciplining our own kids. As a parent, we understand their pain better than anyone! Schools focus only in the results to attract more parents in the coming year and so their methodology might not be transparent!
We, elders don't still have so much discipline in us, but we have made a mark in our lives!
Disciplining is important but a little less harshly! Its OK not to do a homework once in a while! What's the big loss? Let them jump around and run and shout, as all this would last long only for some more time. May be,we should focus on the hurt after their fall. If it would be small, LET them FALL! We can stop them only if the pain would be much for them.
As they grow, education will press them along with extra curricular activities, competitions, peer pressure, etc..they won't have time then! We would force them to go out to play, they won't!
As we thrust the iPad and computers into their tiny hands, we are pulling away their joy of sharing and being with the nature. Let them simply take a walk in the community with a friend or an elder. Kids don't know to share because many are single kids, there are no parks with greenery now and we don't know which elder to be trusted!! These are the bitter things in today's life. All have an apartment, a tablet, a car and a flat screen tv but no reliable people to entrust our children!
Some grandparents do take the responsibility but since the kids IQ is more, they are forced to be tongue tied as kids use the computer for projects. What really happens in the computer room can be decided only by CCTV camera!
Having said all that, please don't send the kids to hostels! When we don't give away our priced possessions to anyone, why give away our kids? They will soon become hard hearted staying long time in hostels, that too from a tender age. They might even feel lonely and go into a shell. I would even recommend the Govt. to ban all hostels till the age of 17. Let school going children study from their homes.
Only the kids who have a poor family support,mentally and financially, for whom hostel would be better than home in all aspects can be allowed to stay in a hostel that too only after the age of 10.
May be, if such things are followed, people have more love towards one another and a family will be a family with all acceptance and patience. This might also reduce the number of old age homes in our country!
Some years back, parents used to threaten kids saying that they will be sent to hostel and now its those kid's turn that they join the parents in the old age homes, with job and its demands in one hand and other commitments and pressure in another!
Now a days, the cost of living has gone up so much and both the parents are forced to earn. Schools demand more money and we stand in queues to get their application forms. Getting selected in such schools is a huge process in itself, that it would need another blog post! While many manage to bring up kids at home with or without support from the in-laws, some seek the help of boarding schools where kids have to stay in a hostel after school and parents are allowed to meet them once in a week or month depending on the school rules.
What parents see when they leave kids is NOT the true picture of the kid's everyday life in the hostel. As mothers, we feel a huge void when we first leave them at a playschool or a school after being with them full time for all the 2-3 years. Those 1 or 2 hours would move very slowly and only after a month, both the kid and mother would get used to it. Leaving them in a hostel is a tougher decision. Parents trust the school so much that their kids would come out in flying colors if left in the hostel.
But kids miss so many things! They miss being with the parents, having fun time, family dinner times, suddenly made sweets/snacks, sibling fights, meeting relatives, the each and every small festival we celebrate at home. Obviously, school would declare holidays only for major festivals! Parents too spend sleepless nights initially, worried about how the kid got adjusted to the new environment, food, etc..
When it comes to disciplining, schools/hostel have a major role. We would do less at home because these are our kids and we think they will anyways learn. But, can we expect the same from the school? How assured we are that kids aren't beaten? So many whatsapp messages and fb posts that kids are beaten up in hostels keep popping!
Hostel life does discipline children where they have to take bath by themselves, eat by themselves and suppress their wants, as everything happens according to time in hostels but learning to be independent from a very small age is not necessary.
Disciplining other's kids is relatively easier than disciplining our own kids. As a parent, we understand their pain better than anyone! Schools focus only in the results to attract more parents in the coming year and so their methodology might not be transparent!
We, elders don't still have so much discipline in us, but we have made a mark in our lives!
Disciplining is important but a little less harshly! Its OK not to do a homework once in a while! What's the big loss? Let them jump around and run and shout, as all this would last long only for some more time. May be,we should focus on the hurt after their fall. If it would be small, LET them FALL! We can stop them only if the pain would be much for them.
As they grow, education will press them along with extra curricular activities, competitions, peer pressure, etc..they won't have time then! We would force them to go out to play, they won't!
As we thrust the iPad and computers into their tiny hands, we are pulling away their joy of sharing and being with the nature. Let them simply take a walk in the community with a friend or an elder. Kids don't know to share because many are single kids, there are no parks with greenery now and we don't know which elder to be trusted!! These are the bitter things in today's life. All have an apartment, a tablet, a car and a flat screen tv but no reliable people to entrust our children!
Some grandparents do take the responsibility but since the kids IQ is more, they are forced to be tongue tied as kids use the computer for projects. What really happens in the computer room can be decided only by CCTV camera!
Having said all that, please don't send the kids to hostels! When we don't give away our priced possessions to anyone, why give away our kids? They will soon become hard hearted staying long time in hostels, that too from a tender age. They might even feel lonely and go into a shell. I would even recommend the Govt. to ban all hostels till the age of 17. Let school going children study from their homes.
Only the kids who have a poor family support,mentally and financially, for whom hostel would be better than home in all aspects can be allowed to stay in a hostel that too only after the age of 10.
May be, if such things are followed, people have more love towards one another and a family will be a family with all acceptance and patience. This might also reduce the number of old age homes in our country!
Some years back, parents used to threaten kids saying that they will be sent to hostel and now its those kid's turn that they join the parents in the old age homes, with job and its demands in one hand and other commitments and pressure in another!
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