Birthday party, do we need them?!
I may sound silly but I am reasonable in making this post!
Now a days, we all let our kids have a birthday party. Every year, the demands increase and so our budget and we end up giving in to our kids, thinking that they need to be happy.
Kids as young as 3 expect a cake cutting and gifts because the schools and their friends have been doing it and the kids have been imagining the same for themselves!
We can see it in two ways, as parents. One, we didn't get these parties as kids and so let's make our kids enjoy themselves.
Two, we too didn't have it as kids and its not important to have it each year!
What is being happy from the kid's view? This is for 3-10 years age.
Wear an expensive dress(these days all kids dresses are expensive!That's another blog post altogether!), kids select their dress, the cake and ask for the home to be decorated, invite friends and neighbors, play with them, have chips, juice, snacks and give return gifts. Once everyone leaves, who has to cleanup?! We, in India still have the party in weekdays! The date is important to us.
From 11 to 17, they know whom to be invited and want the party outside home! The cost will also be accordingly high! After cake cutting, they would do facial with the cake! How mean is that to waste a food item! And then lots of water to wash that off! All that's unnecessary!
The left over cake is kept in the fridge and becomes snack for the next 2 days! So are the snacks! After consuming it kids will catch cold as the icing sugar and the cocoa will create phlegm!
Just because we all cut cakes now for every occasion, so many cake shops have sprung up! They have some 100 varieties and all are expensive! Some do only on a pre-order basis! These are not bakeries, they are exclusive cake shops!!
Parents have a role to play in making them understand that its not mandatory to have a party year after year just because you are born! They need to be taught that some achievements are to be celebrated. For small kids till the age of 5, we can celebrate till they start understanding things and we fall into the trap and it becomes a habit after those 5 years!
Its also unnecessary on the pocket and also the efforts for planning and execution. We need to plan the invitees, the food, the snacks, the return gifts and make sure everything is perfect for the day. Imagine if the mom is working too, her plight is even more.
If this celebration is amongst family, dinner is also to be served! The list keeps growing to close friends.
Another set of people celebrate in orphanages thereby want the kid to understand there are people who don't know their birthdays and also have nobody to celebrate! Actually, it's the orphanage kids who are worst affected as they are made to sing the birthday song and wish the kid with craving in their hearts! We feel proud to have provided one day food for them but as someone said, they feel so low in accepting it! How do we feel in their shoes? We can't even imagine!
There's another set of parents who want to do it by calling some event managers. They charge exorbitantly and the package starts from thematic decoration, cake, games for kids and adults. Food is a separate cost and not to forget the return gifts and the banquet hall rental.
I vividly remember how I celebrated my birthday as a kid! I can choose between my date of birth or star birthday and it would be mostly on the dob, I get ready to school in a new dress, falling at the feet of my elders, get their blessings and goto school with a box of chocolates for my friends and teachers. On the day of my star birthday, I was given head bath, my favorite kheer would be made at home and the evening will end with a temple visit and some puja. Elders will bless me with good health and mind and also some money ranging from Re.1 to Rs.100/-
Only on my first bday, there was a cake cutting and as we come from a culture where lamp is lit for all auspicious events, we weren't allowed to blow a candle and then cut the cake. It makes sense now!
I used to sleep very happily and so were my parents!
Now, kids want a particular toy as gift on their birthday and the total number of gifts should be one more than the previous year! This kind of pressure is present for parents and they aren't able to communicate it to their kids thinking they might hurt them.
The sad reality is parents end up hurting themselves unnecessarily.
As long as parents aren't as stubborn as the kids, this practice can't be put to end and as supply meets demand, the prices of cake, dresses, toys and other kids items will keep increasing each year because parents have to buy these anyways!
There are some tactics for parents to follow. Do not take kids for shopping. From dresses to books to toys, don't ask them what they want and get them! Instead, we buy them and give them as a surprise. The former method makes them greedy while the latter makes them satisfied. Also its important to get only one item at a time. Many things in one shot will confuse them and they can't value what they have!
Slowly, make them realise they are also like every kid on the block though they are their parent's prince or princess, they can't expect everyone around to treat them the same and they need to earn their special treatment rather than yearn for it!
-Vishnupriya
I may sound silly but I am reasonable in making this post!
Now a days, we all let our kids have a birthday party. Every year, the demands increase and so our budget and we end up giving in to our kids, thinking that they need to be happy.
Kids as young as 3 expect a cake cutting and gifts because the schools and their friends have been doing it and the kids have been imagining the same for themselves!
We can see it in two ways, as parents. One, we didn't get these parties as kids and so let's make our kids enjoy themselves.
Two, we too didn't have it as kids and its not important to have it each year!
What is being happy from the kid's view? This is for 3-10 years age.
Wear an expensive dress(these days all kids dresses are expensive!That's another blog post altogether!), kids select their dress, the cake and ask for the home to be decorated, invite friends and neighbors, play with them, have chips, juice, snacks and give return gifts. Once everyone leaves, who has to cleanup?! We, in India still have the party in weekdays! The date is important to us.
From 11 to 17, they know whom to be invited and want the party outside home! The cost will also be accordingly high! After cake cutting, they would do facial with the cake! How mean is that to waste a food item! And then lots of water to wash that off! All that's unnecessary!
The left over cake is kept in the fridge and becomes snack for the next 2 days! So are the snacks! After consuming it kids will catch cold as the icing sugar and the cocoa will create phlegm!
Just because we all cut cakes now for every occasion, so many cake shops have sprung up! They have some 100 varieties and all are expensive! Some do only on a pre-order basis! These are not bakeries, they are exclusive cake shops!!
Parents have a role to play in making them understand that its not mandatory to have a party year after year just because you are born! They need to be taught that some achievements are to be celebrated. For small kids till the age of 5, we can celebrate till they start understanding things and we fall into the trap and it becomes a habit after those 5 years!
Its also unnecessary on the pocket and also the efforts for planning and execution. We need to plan the invitees, the food, the snacks, the return gifts and make sure everything is perfect for the day. Imagine if the mom is working too, her plight is even more.
If this celebration is amongst family, dinner is also to be served! The list keeps growing to close friends.
Another set of people celebrate in orphanages thereby want the kid to understand there are people who don't know their birthdays and also have nobody to celebrate! Actually, it's the orphanage kids who are worst affected as they are made to sing the birthday song and wish the kid with craving in their hearts! We feel proud to have provided one day food for them but as someone said, they feel so low in accepting it! How do we feel in their shoes? We can't even imagine!
There's another set of parents who want to do it by calling some event managers. They charge exorbitantly and the package starts from thematic decoration, cake, games for kids and adults. Food is a separate cost and not to forget the return gifts and the banquet hall rental.
I vividly remember how I celebrated my birthday as a kid! I can choose between my date of birth or star birthday and it would be mostly on the dob, I get ready to school in a new dress, falling at the feet of my elders, get their blessings and goto school with a box of chocolates for my friends and teachers. On the day of my star birthday, I was given head bath, my favorite kheer would be made at home and the evening will end with a temple visit and some puja. Elders will bless me with good health and mind and also some money ranging from Re.1 to Rs.100/-
Only on my first bday, there was a cake cutting and as we come from a culture where lamp is lit for all auspicious events, we weren't allowed to blow a candle and then cut the cake. It makes sense now!
I used to sleep very happily and so were my parents!
Now, kids want a particular toy as gift on their birthday and the total number of gifts should be one more than the previous year! This kind of pressure is present for parents and they aren't able to communicate it to their kids thinking they might hurt them.
The sad reality is parents end up hurting themselves unnecessarily.
As long as parents aren't as stubborn as the kids, this practice can't be put to end and as supply meets demand, the prices of cake, dresses, toys and other kids items will keep increasing each year because parents have to buy these anyways!
There are some tactics for parents to follow. Do not take kids for shopping. From dresses to books to toys, don't ask them what they want and get them! Instead, we buy them and give them as a surprise. The former method makes them greedy while the latter makes them satisfied. Also its important to get only one item at a time. Many things in one shot will confuse them and they can't value what they have!
Slowly, make them realise they are also like every kid on the block though they are their parent's prince or princess, they can't expect everyone around to treat them the same and they need to earn their special treatment rather than yearn for it!
-Vishnupriya
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